How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
