Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I didn't shave. On purpose
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
