OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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