Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
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