Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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