Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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