escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I would fuck him just for his dog
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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