there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
