she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
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