a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize