Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
