the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
