I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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