The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
