Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
