So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
