I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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