Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
