very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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