"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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