this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
