The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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