wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
