I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
