The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
