JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
