i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
