she was so not down for the gang bang
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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