Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My ass is underappreciated
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
