community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
