wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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