sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
