we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
