Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize