You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
