Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
