am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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