i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
