I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
