there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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