Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize