I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
