Someone shit on the floor
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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