Duck Duck Cougar?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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