Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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