thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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