too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
