dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
