I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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