Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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