dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
