Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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