My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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