i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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