Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
