We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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