Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The chlamydia really affected his face.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
