walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We need to rekindle our bromance
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
