Sry I called you an 8
I think my fart just growled at me.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
