My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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