I wanna passion pit in your ass
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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