Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
