I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
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There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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