what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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