i was born a porn star she said
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
