Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
