Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You can't special order awesome
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
