never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just google imaged poop.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
