Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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