I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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